Manhood (Part 13) – Man and His Family (Authority)

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In our last installment on this topic, we established how critically important the family is for every man. That in the end, his family is his legacy above all else. It would seem that our obligations as men are so high that we will never live up to them.

C. S. Lewis, as always, said it clearly:

It is painful, being a man, to have to assert the privilege, or the burden, which Christianity lays upon my own sex. I am crush­ingly aware of how inadequate most of us are, on our actual and historical individualities, to fill the place prepared for us.

Oh, how right he is. Left to ourselves we are totally inadequate. But “the place prepared for us” is still there, and it must be occupied. As Christian men, we must throw ourselves at the feet of the King of Kings, and beg His wisdom, insight, grace, and blessing. Still, the mantle must be worn. When a man refuses it, everybody is the loser for it.

Whatever our frustration-a culture that bites us, wives who won’t follow us, kids who won’t cooperate with us-we do not have the option of just tossing up our hands and walking away. God-honoring men don’t quit. God-honoring men don’t abdicate, or try to hide in the baggage from God’s anointing, like the pitiful king-designated Saul.

God-honoring men stay at it. And stay. And stay. And stay. Growing and improving. Taking the hits and pushing on down the field. Moving in one direction over the long haul. Many times it’s two steps forward, one back. But it’s still movement; it’s keeping on keeping on.

Manhood (Part 12) – Man and His Family (Authority)

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Yesterday we presented a clear and compelling case for the authority of a man in relation to his wife. Maybe one of the reasons that this has become a frightening concept for most women (and plenty of men) is because of how authority gets abused. But the sort of authority that God is mandating here looks much different than the type most of us are accustomed to. Once again, we’ll let Stu Weber lead us in this discussion…….

There is no room in biblical headship for self-inflated big shots. Still, God’s Word makes it undeniably clear that “the man” is the head of his home. The man is held responsible for the leadership of his marriage and home! The two words that describe his role most basically are “husband” and “head.” These two words are good words—benevolent words—intended to provide our homes with leadership, authority, order, and direction. Rightly understood, they are Camelot-inducing words. If you’ll allow me, I’ll borrow a couple of definitions from my earlier book, Tender Warrior, to nail these terms down.

HUSBAND. The noun form of the word means “manager.” A hus­band is a steward. He is a caretaker and caregiver. He is the man held responsible. In its verb form the word means “to direct, to manage.” Those are strong terms that imply effective and responsible leadership.

HEAD. “Head” means director. It means chief. As in headmaster. Principal. Foremost. “Head” equals leadership and authority, as in the head of the class, head of the military, head of the company, head of the church, head of the home, or head man. Head means head.

Manhood (Part 11) – Man and His Family (Authority)

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Today, we continue on the theme of authority and what that means for a man in relation to his family. Most of us don’t like the concept of authority anymore. We don’t like to follow it, nor, interestingly enough, do most men want to exercise it. It’s just too much work. And in that cultural landscape, we have seen a myth grow into a near “fact-like” status. It is the myth of mutual submission, which really sounds pleasing to the ear and totally reasonable. But it’s really a crock. Here’s how Stu Weber describes it:

“Mutual submission” is not only an oxymoron, it is an impossibility. It exists neither in theory, nor in practice, nor in Scripture.

Manhood (Part 10) – Man and His Family

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We left off last week with a potentially searing question to the heart of every man in relation to his kingdom:

So how is your kingdom? How is the king in you doing? How’s it at your house, in your little realm? What kind of leader are you? Is there a sweet aroma of contentment? Or is your home characterized by the sour taste of bitterness? Are the “citizens” secure? Is there peace? Is there laughter in the hallways? Is everyone glad to know the king is in his castle? Or would they, frankly, prefer a revolt? Is your home a little taste of heaven, or is it hell on earth?

The answer to this question will indicate the type of leadership (or lack thereof) you have exercised in your home. This comes down to a question of authority and authority seems to be a real sticking point in today’s culture. This is how Stu Weber addresses this question of authority:

Authority is the bottom line of the universe. It is the inevitable first question. Who’s in charge here?! It is the first answer. Rebellion against it started the first war—on a cosmic scale—just as it has started every war since, whether global or local, physical or spiritual, marital or personal. Authority is the one element which, given our self-oriented depravity, chaffs us all. But we will never escape it. And it is particularly incumbent upon Christians to learn to live with it.

Someone is always in charge. It goes without saying. It’s axiomatic. We can try to deny it all we want to, but—someone is always in charge. It’s the way God made this world, because it reflects the reality of His world. And when Satan tried to snatch a little authority for himself, he ended up on the ash heap of the universe.

Someone is always in charge. I don’t remember when I first realized that. But I’m sure it was early in life. Every infant soon learns that someone is charge. It was reinforced at home. It was reinforced again at school. There was no doubt that first day of kindergarten who was in charge. Our teacher, Mrs. Taylor! It was the same at recess; during the lunch hour; on the school bus; and, yes, even in the tree fort in the back yard. Someone is always in charge. It is true on the football team…in the marching band…in the fraternity ­house…and in the corporate board room. It is true everywhere.

Questions to ponder? Do you ever find yourself resenting authority? How does it affect you when you do? Do you resent anyone who doesn’t respect your authority? Do you agree that authority is necessary? If so, why?

Dennis Foley, a highly decorated career soldier tells an interesting story about authority that is both humorous and informative:

Manhood (Part 9) – Man and His Family

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Today we continue on our journey of understanding manhood and it’s role as husband / provider / leader. These are critical roles as the family unit us disintegrating all around us. When men do not live out this function of their manhood, their masculinity, they set in motion a ripple effect that can carry forward for years, even generations. Men, we must get a grip on this. Stu Weber describes this as the King pillar in a man’s heart…that servant-leader that God hardwired into our DNA. Let’s join Stu again:

REMEMBER CAMELOT?

Pristine. Pure rivers. Gentle breezes. Stable homes. Safe pathways winding between serene hamlets. Children at play. Happy citizens. The poets called it, “The kingdom of summer.” It was a kingdom at peace.

The king made it happen. Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther, High King of Britain, delivered to his people their paradise. His courage and cunning as a warrior drove the raiding Saxon hordes into the sea. His skills as a negotiator united the petty regional kings, ended the constant bloodshed, and-for the first time since the Legions marched-brought the old Roman colony of Britannia under a single glorious banner. His leadership seemed nearly divine. It was a little bit of life “on earth as it is in heaven.”

Manhood (Part 8) – Man and His Family

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For those of you who may have come to the blog yesterday looking for this installment on manhood, I apologize. Yesterday’s schedule didn’t allow me get this posted. But this morning, I will begin looking at the familial role of a man. Once again, I will lean on material from Stu Weber’s “The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart” with additional comments and/or questions.

According to Weber’s book, there are four distinct roles that all men are designed to live out. This is how he describes it:

Every man is commissioned by his Creator….

• To Provide – as a Servant-King
• To Protect – as a Tender Warrior
• To Teach – as a Wise Mentor
• To Connect – as a Faithful Friend

Manhood (Part 7) – Man, Manhood & God (con’t)

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Today I will conclude my thoughts on manhood and God. Tomorrow we will take on a different angle of manhood (man as husband/provider), but make sure that you are fully grasping this aspect first. I have virtually no building skills, I typically supply the muscle and grunt work. I move stuff around for those who can build. But while I lack those skills, I understand how critically important the foundational work is to any structure. Get that part wrong, and it’s all in jeopardy. As you read today’s entry, go back and review the others about manhood and God….make sure you are establishing a good foundational structure for building authentic masculinity in your life.

One of the elements that is missing far too often among Christian men is a deep, daily walk with Jesus Christ. Mark Alderton (who serves as pastor of Sovereign Grace Fellowship in Bloomington, Minn.) recently described it to men attending a conference this way:

“It is a carryover from the fall that we, as guys, don’t necessarily always want to pursue God ourselves and lead in that way,” he said. “It is very common in a marriage for the wife who is enthusiastic about devotional life and she is consistent in it and wants to bring the man to church.”

Preaching from John 15:4-5, Alderton admonished attendees to abide in Christ, unpacking the concept of “abiding” and encouraging men to answer three fundamental questions:

• What does it mean to abide in Christ?
• Why do we need to abide in Christ?
• How do we abide in Christ?

Manhood (Part 6) – Man, Manhood & God (con’t)

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Men have been relegated to some­ thing less than masculine. As C.S. Lewis stated so powerfully in The Abolition of Man, modernists “castrate, and bid the geldings be fruitful.”It is impossible.

It is a tragedy. And our culture is in trouble. When men are not men, a civilization falls. When men let their masculinity drift with the winds of culture, everyone loses. When a culture is castrated, it dies. Compare that reality to these words found in scripture:

Be strong…and show yourself a man…Keep the charge of the LORD your God

David, 1 Kings 2:2-3

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act likemen, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

Paul, 1 Cor. 16:13

When was the last time you heard something like that spoken as positive encouragement?

Play the man! The words call to the surface something that all of us as Christian men need to think about carefully.

Manhood. It has been out of vogue too long.

Manhood (Part 5) – Man, Manhood & God (con’t)

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Yesterday we launched out into the deep waters of exploring man/manhood in relation to God. The water is deep because this is foundational stuff to understanding the breakdowns in men and families and culture. This is the starting point. So let’s push forward into this journey. Please remember that these are selected passages from Stu Weber’s book “The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart” with some additional comments or questions by me:

We, as Christians, must address these gender issues with a whole heart and full energy. If we do not do so, we fail our Lord and His Word at the very point of the most basic contention in our culture. If we do not consistently address this issue over the years to come, we will be guilty of abandoning the Bible when our culture’s very survival depends on it most. If we do not address it, we are guilty of the spiritual equiva­lent of sleeping on guard duty. Or, worse yet, simply going AWOL.

Martin Luther, the great reformer, and a warrior in his own right, said it this way: “If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposi­tion every portion of the truth of God except precisely that… point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confess­ing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved. And to be steady on all the battlefield (elsewhere), is merely flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point“ (emphasis added). Wow! Those are awesome words. Don’t run right over that. Linger there for just a moment. Let that grip you. Then answer the following question.

Manhood (Part 4) – Man, Manhood & God

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I spent a few days last week setting the background for the need to have this discussion. Today I begin to turn toward some specific issues, statements, ideas and questions. As a church, The Grove has sought to reclaim a biblical perspective on manhood and what that means in the church, the family, and culture. We certainly don’t have all the answers, but we are more than willing to wrestle with the questions, which is a major part of the battle – just being willing to engage in it.

Much of what I share here is attributable to Stu Weber (one of the founding pastors of Good Shepherd Community Church in Oregon) and his incredibly insightful book, The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart. I will provide some selected passages from the book along with some additions of my own. Stu is a man’s man, but writes with an amazing gift to incorporate story as a means of communicating truth. If you haven’t read the book, I strongly encourage you to get your own copy. I will insert questions for you to wrestle with as you read through the material. This is not a short post, but don’t be in a hurry. Take your time as you read. Let it get under your skin. Let it anger you or challenge you. And join the conversation in the comment section.

MAN, MANHOOD, & GOD

Satan loves dark tunnels. And he knows that this one, this gender ­destroying detour from God’s intentions, has the potential to do more damage than we can begin to dream. Our ancient adversary knows very well what most us have forgotten: Gender is one of the most basic and far-reaching expressions of the image of God. And the enemy loves noth­ing better than to distort the image of the God he hates.

Picture in your mind the image of a hate-deranged child slash­ing a picture of his father to ribbons, then burning those fragments, one by one. But Satan is no child. The Book of Revelation calls him “the great dragon.. .that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray.” When he acts, it is according to an established pat­tern, old as Eden, old as the earth itself

Distort the Word of God. Mar the image of God. And never stop attack­ing man, the creation of God formed in His very image.